Another Planet

This damn planet... Another odd world were everything is off kilter and strange.

How I long for our home world, where the climate is controlled and hospitable; somewhere the inhabitants are not so hostile or un-understanding.

Before I continue My Report, I would humbly beg for forgiveness... My deeds were intended in the best and kindest manner.

We are forced to wear our Light Suits inside, to gain the strength to venture outside essentially naked. Whispy coverings of a local plant refined into a woven thread seems to be the normal attire. Heavy Suits are impractical due to the social visiting and surprisingly random nature of the Indigenous Population. These beings will visit WITHOUT ANY prior notice.

Several times I have been surprised by messengers; demanding that I revert to local disguise to continue Our Mission on this planet.

Total Coverage and Habitat Regulation is beyond these folk. These “people” are strange... “People” is the term they use. It's an ambiguous term that covers several meanings... They wander about totally exposed to their sun, with flimsy coverings they believe could protect them. Large parts of their bodies are totally vulnerable to RadHaz.

Radiation Hazard is beginning to be taken seriously by a minor portion of the inhabitants.

The poor fools have not even discovered Climate Suits, nor Habitat Control!... The technology simply does not exist. They have domicile accommodation and Service Installations in which they maintain a reasonable climate, but as soon as One strides outside... It's hotter and wetter than PerHalcyon 206!!

I am exhausted by the constant changes in habitat. My Good on High, I desire and miss our Home World of a constant comfortable 4,957tillins with our reliable and consistent dress and accoutrements!!

These “people” do not even comprehend the Ideal of Prolonged Constant Bliss!!

My First Officer and I have been resorting to surreptitious periods of Observance, but I feel we will definitely need extended periods of Recompense upon our expected return.

Pleasure here is, strangely, used for both procreation AND enjoyment, as well as Our usual Reconciliation of The Id.

[I did mention in my last report that this planet is so FAR removed from our way of thinking that I suggest We abandon ALL attempts at colonisation and/or assimilation! Attempts to do so, would necessitate major efforts and the use of planetary anaesthetic weapons and massive industrial scale assimilation emplacements. Even then, I beg to report, that the recalcitrant nature of the Local Population may well rebel against the Ideal of Prolonged Constant Bliss!! Believe it or Not! As previously stated, these “People” are weird!]

There is a small minority that seem inclined to participate in the Ideal of Prolonged Constant Bliss, although they seem to be considered odd, along the lines of THE NAKED ONES back on Our Home World.

These folk seem kind and open to the Ideal, using some of our regular practices, albeit in a primitive form.

For matters of security and to appear “normal” I have NOT I say again NOT made contact with these communities. Further study teams would do well to emplant themselves into these loose and un-organised groups.

[I attach a list of these groups that can be contacted via a meager communication method called “the internet” which is similar to our Personal Contact Programs... but must be paid for and can usually ONLY be accessed by logging into a stationary terminal. Some extremely primitive devices are mobile, but are beyond the usual financial and technological reach, and grasp, of the greater majority of the planet.]

I offer my Most Profound apologies for the brevity of this report. I do realise it is reminiscent of the paucity of reports from my previous assignment, but it is due to the scarcity of available time in Our Beloved Rubber.

I must humbly restate that I do not regret the outcome of my foray on the unaware and primitive planet of Hevea Brasiliensis, although the subsequent lowering of profitable output of the planet was truly unfortunate. I believe the automated harvesting is functioning well and the Employment Teams are having a grand time with the (now!) Latex Enclosed population.

Ma'am...  This Exploration Officer, and my First Officer, duly offer our reluctant appraisal that:

A: This abhorrent world is not yet ready for  colonisation and/or assimilation

B: Enormous efforts would be required to convert the general populace to The Ideal

C: Extensive climate control would be needed to compensate for the radical axial tilt and eccentric orbit

D: A concurrent and constant occupation and pacification program would need to be in place for generations. [These “people” only live for about 100<local> years, if they are lucky enough to be in the correct regions!]

E: Numerous and implacable social issues would make 'B:' an extremely onerous task, due to the asymmetrical social and gender issues. Geo-socio-politico imbalances are huge and divergent,further complicating 'A:', 'B:' & 'D:'....

Humbly,
Yours,

Oberst Piet
and Major Fi.

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10.05.15